Saturday, December 15, 2007

RELATIONSHIPS (sometimes the most unlikely and unexpected are the sweetest)

I have been thinking lately about relationships as it relates to the people that cause problems. I have been thinking about the backbiting, gossipy, negative behaviors of people. Now I know that these are all works of the flesh, and we all need to, and have had to, and will likely have to again, fight these things at some time in our lives, but I just got to thinking about the causes. We often point the finger and accuse them of having bad attitudes that need to change and that is very true, but what if we looked at the 3 fingers pointing back at us and say "what about me, are my actions or lack thereof having a negative affect on this person? Is there something that I could do to alleviate the bad feelings? ( You could say you don't really care if they like you or not,that that is their problem not yours, but just remember that if there are feelings then there is a hurting person. If you then don't care, then maybe you need to take a closer look at your love level) I think there is fine line between animosity and loyalty. I'm thinking that people want to be accepted, to be a part of the inner circle. The more a person loves, respects, or admires someone, the more sensitive they become to the acceptance of that individual. If they then feel rejected by that person, bitterness sets in and gossip and backstabbing ensue. Is the probem with that individual? Yes I believe it is and they do need to work on some things, but I also believe that a little love could cover a multitude of sins. I know that there are all kinds of personalities and that we click with some people easier than others, but it would be an interesting experiment to take someone who seems to be dislike you, that gossips about you, that seems to hold some animosity against you and allow them into your life. Open yourself up to them, invite them to help you do things, not just a quick hello as you walk by, but to really make an effort to make a friend of them, share yourself with them, to really let them into the inner circle of your life. I wonder if it would turn the individual from your worst enemy to your staunchest defender. I propose that 90% of the gossipy, negative behavior stems from jeolousy and feelings of rejection from people they wanted to be accepted by.. How much would it really cost us and how great the rewards could be to both our life and to the lives of countless others if we could just open up and let more people in? I dare you try it. Next time someone seems to really dislike you, spreads rumors about you etc., with a heart full of love, include them in your life in a very personal way and see if you don't find a treasure trove of loyal friends that enrich your life and because of your love they are able to enrich the lives of many others as well.

Ps Just a little note to the resentful, bitter person, reach out to some one who needs you and let go of the ugliness. Pray for the ones who don't allow you in and don't give in to gossip. That will ust complicate yourlife and make you less acceptable to people and God. Make your own party. Oh, and if you find yourself being accepted and feelin "in" don't get on a high horse and become a snob, but make sure that you reach to include someone else.
Whatever side of the spectrum we find ourselves on, we must strive to let the love of God be spread abroud in our hearts.

That is my ramblings for today and I don't really have the patience to put this all into a nice disertation, so you get it raw from my mind
Blessings to all and remember when someone is being mean or ugly, chances are they are really saying ,"Let me in! I want to love you and I want you to love me!!!"

3 comments:

Mrs. Wizzle said...

Pretty heavy stuff for first thing in the morning!
Heap coals of fire on their heads! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!
I think you got it!
I have a tendency to crawl into the other person's skin and try and figure out WHY? It really helps. Sometimes you can then look at the person and see them just a little bit differently. With a little more compassion and empathy.

Love you lots

Vrennily said...

momsellshomes,
=) Wow great post! It's so true. WWJD?

j.elle said...

Mom,
Ouch...I find myself examining "jael" after reading this post.
I want to be sensitive to others and their feelings.
Thank you for the post...I needed that.

Love you lots!