Quote form Greg Herder:
Being listened to feels so much like being loved that we can’t tell the difference.” We all know how we feel when someone is really listening to us and asking questions. We feel respected and valued. We feel loved, accepted, validated, and cared for. All of these feelings somehow free us to be ourselves, achieve our highest potential, contribute, and make a difference—in other words, to soar.
And what about the thoughts you have about yourself? Do you listen to yourself? Do you ask yourself clarifying questions? Do you respect and value yourself? Do you help yourself to feel loved, accepted, and cared for by you? Do you free yourself to be yourself, to achieve your highest potential, to contribute, to make a difference, to soar?
At a conference for CEOs led by Richard Boyatsis, author of Primal Leadership, he asked the people to think of someone who had positively influenced us in our lives or careers. We wrote down in general terms how this person related to us in order to produce such a favorable impact. Of the 150 CEOs that participated in this exercise most had identified similar attributes: They listened to me. They encouraged me. They trusted me. They saw a vision of me that I could not see.
We were then asked to recall someone who negatively impacted us, who we would never want to be like or work with again. Once more, we were amazed to have similar stories with common themes: They didn’t listen to me. They didn’t value or appreciate me.
Which type of influence do you want to be? Do you want to bring out the best in people? Or the worst? Do you want to inspire them to accomplish what is significant to you and to them? Do you want to light up the creative regions of their brains? Or do you want them to avoid you at all costs, to withhold help and ideas, or worse—to have their spark extinguished?
PS The frienship post is next
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Posted by Katrina Holmes (Tina) at 8:50 AM
This email forward came to me from Karen via Elizabeth. It is a beautful story of friendship. I just want to take the opportunity to tell all of you who have been a friend to me, I do love you and you mean so much.
The part that was so neat to me in this story was that Kyle became so liked and even more popular than his friend, but it was the friend that made the difference. Without the touch of love and acceptance given by his friend, none of it would have been a reality. Kyle's life would have been so different. Your touch, your love , your care can make such a difference in someone's life even if it is just for a short time and it may be that no one will ever know what a difference you actually made!!
One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt..
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him..
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.'
They really should get lives.
' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before..
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football
with my friends
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
' He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..
When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship..
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation..
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
' Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began
'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years..
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach....but mostly your friends.... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story.'
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the
first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
'Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions..
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.
Posted by Katrina Holmes (Tina) at 8:29 AM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Kitchen update November 2009:
I just put away a bunch of the kitchen stuff that is still in boxes and cleared my workspace. I feel like I can do moe and better work.
There will be cabinets where ever you see tables. The tape on the floor marks out the island (4FT x 8FT) It feels so much better in here! More organized and more space!!
Posted by Katrina Holmes (Tina) at 9:44 PM
Sunday, November 08, 2009
An old song that is going thru my head right now.
What a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see
When I look upon his face, the one who saved me by his grace
When He takes me by the hand, leads me to the promised land
What a day, glorious day that will be
Posted by Katrina Holmes (Tina) at 9:57 PM
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Taken from Sis. Tracie Smith's blog, Everyone should just go and read the whole article. I was convicted and inspired to do better this morning.
If you think little of a person, you ought to say as little as you think." - Ben Franklin
Earl Wilson, the first black American Leaguer to throw a no-hitter, once said, "If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it."
Posted by Katrina Holmes (Tina) at 8:10 AM