Tuesday, November 17, 2009

So true!!
Quote form Greg Herder:

Being listened to feels so much like being loved that we can’t tell the difference.” We all know how we feel when someone is really listening to us and asking questions. We feel respected and valued. We feel loved, accepted, validated, and cared for. All of these feelings somehow free us to be ourselves, achieve our highest potential, contribute, and make a difference—in other words, to soar.

And what about the thoughts you have about yourself? Do you listen to yourself? Do you ask yourself clarifying questions? Do you respect and value yourself? Do you help yourself to feel loved, accepted, and cared for by you? Do you free yourself to be yourself, to achieve your highest potential, to contribute, to make a difference, to soar?

At a conference for CEOs led by Richard Boyatsis, author of Primal Leadership, he asked the people to think of someone who had positively influenced us in our lives or careers. We wrote down in general terms how this person related to us in order to produce such a favorable impact. Of the 150 CEOs that participated in this exercise most had identified similar attributes: They listened to me. They encouraged me. They trusted me. They saw a vision of me that I could not see.

We were then asked to recall someone who negatively impacted us, who we would never want to be like or work with again. Once more, we were amazed to have similar stories with common themes: They didn’t listen to me. They didn’t value or appreciate me.

Which type of influence do you want to be? Do you want to bring out the best in people? Or the worst? Do you want to inspire them to accomplish what is significant to you and to them? Do you want to light up the creative regions of their brains? Or do you want them to avoid you at all costs, to withhold help and ideas, or worse—to have their spark extinguished?

PS The frienship post is next

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